Bienvenue, long time no see. It’s been far too long.
I’ve kept myself busy this summer socializing and staying active. But as the summer winds down I’m feeling the pull of blogging once again.
I’ve got several posts on the burner now that I will be posting throughout the week.
I realize that I have neglected this blog more than a deadbeat dad from one of MTV’s trillion teen parenting shows neglects his kids. Belove me. I’ve had good reason.
No, I haven’t been working on spitting rhymes, appealing my multiple drug charges or playing Xbox. NTTAWWT.
I have been busy with a new kind of adventure. Directing well, co-directing. Granted this is less likely one much less likely to get me on TV. Sadly that ship sailed when I turned 20 without having managed to reproduce.
But, enough about my shattered dreams of being a teenage mother. The reason I’ve been in absentia is that I have simply been busy working on the show. Actually, I’m writing this post from a quick-change booth. However, we wrap tomorrow so I should be back at the helm of my blog anon.
We’ve probably all been there, patting ourselves for a job well done. Sensing that you aced the test, nailed the interview, wowed the director at an audition, it’s awesome isn’t it?
Then the little doubt monster shows up for a visit, playing with its host, and slowly but surely eats away at the self-esteem and positivity. As the sense of accomplishment fades and the doubts role in, you no longer feels so ecstatic. Soon butterflies become more like stinging wasps, you could crawl out of your skin. Maybe you disasterize a bit, maybe things seem to be closing in on you. The only thing that seems certain by that point is that you’ve bombed.
That’s where I was yesterday evening before I my phone rang. I’d gotten a callback. I could have shrieked with delight, jumped up and down! What a wonderful surprise. Instead I thanked the director, hung up and skipped to the kitchen and told my father. Then I got on Facebook to message my high school director and drama coach.
But, then it started over. By the time I went to sleep, I was on the verge of grabbing a Xanax. I didn’t. This was no panic attack, just my regular reaction to the audition process.
I never have stage fright, public speaking doesn’t phase me, occasionally improve gets my anxiety going but not often. Sometimes I think that maybe this audition angst is retribution for that. Who knows, who cares. It’s part of the job, the life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although if I got my anxiety under control, that’d be gravy.
Anybody got tips? Please comment.
Waiting. Ugh…
Patience is definitely one of my virtues. Waiting doesn’t tend to phase me much, but when it does it really, really does. Such is the case on this beautiful spring morning.
I’m waiting for callbacks to be announced and I’m doing everything I can to keep my mind occupied until that time.
It’s not that I’ll die if I don’t get the part. Whatever the outcome, I gave as much as I could to that audition and that’s something to be proud of. To occupy my time, at least for a little while, I decided to blog a bit on my audition observations.
Actors, especially those new to the game, look for personal and artistic validation in the audition process. Which is a huge mistake for a plethora of reasons.
It’s unhealthy. I’ve learned from observation and personal experience that many actors, particularly green ones, use the audition process as a way to judge themselves and their skill. Searching for validation in auditions is a recipe for emotional turmoil. Far too many actors come to believe that getting a role means being a good actor and vis versa. I’ll say it again; It’s unhealthy to foster that mindset. So what if you don’t audition as well as you’d hoped. Personally, I refuse to belive that there’s such a thing as a “bad” audition. Every audition, “successful’” or not, is a learning tool; use it but for heaven’s sake, don’t internalize it.
It’s also illogical. Every audition that has ever been held, and ever will be, is too full of variables to serve as a means of evaluation. I could spend the rest of my time on earth listing all the silly reasons that people get cast or don’t get cast and I wouldn’t even be close to having a complete list, so let’s just look at an extremely common scenario: You gave and earth moving performance but weren’t quite what the person casting had in mind. Believe it or not, that’s a very common reason for not getting a role. It goes without saying that if the role calls for a 12 year-old pixie like ice dancer from Cardiff and you happen to be a 72 year-old bodybuilder from Bali, you probably aren’t what the caster had in mind. More often though, subtle things can be to blame. Maybe they wanted someone 3 inches taller or 10 pounds heavier. Casting, depending on the people behind it, can be a very superficial process. Remember, though you might get passed in one audition for a particular trait, the next time you audition you could be the spitting image of the director’s artistic vision.
Nepotism is Rampant. It’s also a safety net. Remember, in any job, the interviewer is going out on a limb. He or she can only hope that the person they appoint is as trustworthy, hard-working, qualified and responsible in the long haul as in the interview/audition process. Ever notice how movies and shows created by the same person often seem to feature the same producers, actors, composers et cetera… Prior collaboration cam be better than a degree from the most prestigious MFA program. If a person knows what to expect, that’s a big plus. On that note, it’s also good to keep in mind that…
Networking is a key to success. Build good relationships with others in the industry. The world of performing arts is a very small, connected, cliquish world. Six degrees of separation? More like one or two. So remember, everything is an audition. If you give one person the wrong impression, who knows who else may get wind of it. It all boils down to the fact that having the right friends can mean being ahead of the crowd.
And finally, if you don’t get a part, See what else there is to do. The ‘these grapes are sour game is petty and indulgent. it also does nothing to help your career. If you’re not cast, ask if there is anything else you can do to help with production. It reflects well on you for future jobs, gives you a chance to network, gives you even more marketable skills and keeps you from falling out of sight and out of mind.
I’m attending my first auditions since the beginning of this fall/winter’s depressive episode. Yesterday was part one, and tonight is part two. It’s for one of my favorite plays, and I have a lot of respect for the director so I would be thrilled to be a part of it and that’s all I’m willing to say until I know the outcome.
While I’m trying to create and keep to a consistent blogging schedule, please forgive me for neglecting my blog, I’m finding that my audition nerves are making me to unfocused to write anything too in depth and my anxiety drugs are not conducive to meaningful writing.
Later in the week, I’m planning a post on auditioning preparation and nerves. Actors, directors, other theater artists, please, please, please throw your two bits in! What are your secrets, how do you prepare, mentally, technically and otherwise? What do you look for in auditions? What do you find to be major turn-offs/death sentences for actors? Feel free to add anything else!
